I'm fine.

Hey world.

I'm extremely high today. But no one to share my joy.
C'mon. WHAT THE HELL DOES GOD WANTS FROM ME?!?!

Seriously, i think my life sucks now.
No life la. I wanna go clubbing with Hakim. SOON.
Too bad he's down with fever, damn!

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Sometimes i think its ridiculous.
Remember how i declared to the world JORDON was my best friend?
Now when i turn to him, he ignore me, say things like 'you bought this upon yourself'.
Well, if you chose to be this way, den FUCK YOU.

I understand now when guys says 'i love you' it just mean 'i'll stay with you now till i found someone better'
Because Jordon has proved to me this, the hard way.
Seriously, no one has ever lied to me this way before. Dont even bother calling, anymore.


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I've spending time with myself lately, i know this gonna sound extremely crazy, but i talked to myself.
HAHA!

I asked myself what i really want in life.

I asked why do i have to study so hard, i answer:

I dont want my dad to suffer when he's old, cause he did not let me suffer when i did not have the ability to support myself yet.


I asked myself why i have to be happy, i answer:

I dont have time to be sad cause life is too short, i might just die tmr.


I asked myself if i really needed love in life, i answer:

NO. Because i've learn that its not love i need, i just need someone to accompany me when i'm bored. Zhijie does a pretty good job at that. I love him, but i'd let him go and be my best friend instead.
If i let him go and he comes back, he's mine. If he doesn't come back, he was never meant to be mine.


I asked myself if i can survive w/o my friends, i answer:

NO. Because they are my greatest source of joy. Anthony, TC. TOLLYS, ahboy&co.


I asked myself how long i wanted to live, i answer:

As soon as i had sex, had kids, had love, had joy & had money, i'm really to die.
LOL.



Conclusion: My dad is my pillar of strength. Zhijie is my best listener. Anthony&Guanquan is my best advisers. TC. TOLLYS are my best cliques. My life aren't that bad after all.


I'm contented with my life already. Seriously.
When i learn not to ask for too much, i realize things are beautiful the way they are.


Thank you daddy, for bringing me to this world.
Thank you Zhijie, for being a wonderful guy.
Thank you Anthony&Guanquan, for being such great people genuinely caring when we seldom meet.
Thank you TC. TOLLYS, for having fun times together.

I can't find any other way to express my gratitude. I know everyone i mentioned here would read my blog, except for dad, so i hope you guys know although i dont always show it, i really do treasure what i have.


Alright, now everything has been said, i can commit suicide.
Should i jump from my house or
should i run out to the road or
maybe i should slit my wrist or
drink detergent???


HAHA! GOTCHA!
How would i ever do awful things to myself?
My dad taught me that even life is out to get the worst out of you, fight back and make the best out of yourself.
He's an living example. He did fought, he won. So i believe i can do it too.


Enough of my sudden-sad-sudden-joy life, i'll be back soon with my normal post.
Please date me out, anyone. I'm very very free next week.
I can't stand to be alone at home facing the com for hours. HAHA.



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Replies to tags;

Shiwei- Not gonna post it alr la, lose motivation. Also over alr. HAHA.

Rebecca- Are you kidding me? I think i've not been at Accounts examination room for a year alr. HAHA!