Holding on.

Hey world.

I'm back from dinner at Woodlands. Had really really nice soup. But my appetite wasnt that good.
I wanna eat. I forced myself, but i almost vomited.


Such a bas week for me;

- I had a swollen eye, i rubbed them too hard, now they're hurting me too.
- My period came earlier, i threw trantrum at him.
- As a result, i worsen our r/s.
- I'm really guilty, but he want kit kat.
- I'm having prelims tomorrow and i'm not fully prepared.


I might sound very sad now. Its ok, who'll be happy when he/she is broken & abandon?
Whatever it is, i'll still wipe away those tears and put a smile back to my face.
Because i'm learning to stand up on my own, i'll be strong when he's back.


I know its not gonna be easy.
I've never fallen so deep into love before. In fact, i wasnt intending to.
Right before we even started, i was afraid of this.
He assured me, we'll be together for a long long time.

I took about 1 or 2 month to convince myself, to give myself a chance to love again.
I was happy, because he clicked so well with my family and friends.
My relatives liked him as much as i do.
My dad hatred for him grew lesser and started to like him when he saw how well we managed our r/s,
like balancing school works and dating.

I dont even know how to break th news to my dad today.
I just pray and hope everything will be fine and be back like before so my dad dont have to worry about me.


This is really hurting. You guys have no idea how much or zhijie mean to me.
He wasnt the sweetest bf i've had but he was the one i wanted.
He made me cry, yes. But he made me so happy and comfortable when i'm around him.

Perhaps i'm still inexperienced.
Perhaps, he might really need time to think what is the best for himself, and hopefully think of me too.
I'll give him time as i promised. His pool competition is important to him as well as his CA2.
When it's over, i hope he'll still see me waiting for him and we'll be how we used to be.

-

Thank you so much Guanquan and Eric. I dont know where the hell has Anthony Tan Jia Feng gone to.
Guanquan was the first to know, although i was such an asshole for forgetting his bday, he still listened when i poured my hearts out to him. Thank you thank you thank you! You're the best lil bro.


I'm not gonna say much about what happened exactly, yet.
Meanwhile i'll tell you guys how HOT i've became ok?
HAHA.

Nidda sleep now.
I need to take this issue off my mind temporarily, i need to focus on my prelim.
Will be back soon.



Replies to tags;

Shiwei- I also dont know why cannot. Now i can post be still abit screwed up.

Rebecca- I'm th unlucky one lor. Like fuck hor. HAHA.

Satome- Hi, who are you?

pb- Thank you. Just a correction, ITS NOT OVER yet. And may i know you are?

Biliang- Whatever. Thanks anw. I dont need roy. I need my bf.

Roy- I nvr dulan you. I just dont understand how come you guys so heartless one.
I'm not any other girls that'll forget about him. I'm still holding on to the r/s you get it?
He is not dumb yet. He is smart, because he is finally taking time to think what he really want in life.
But i'm not dumb for not letting him go. You wont let go anyone who'll make you happy right?



--

I'm heavily broken and there's nothing I can do.
I trusted you to hold my heart, now fate is pulling me away from you.
Even if I leave you now, and it breaks my heart.
I can't give up, on this love.
Because everytime i'm giving up, i'm constantly reminded of what made me hold on for so long.
And the reason is you.