Please pardon me.
I'm extremely bored. And not to mention hungry. And sick. And emotional.
Worst of all, i'm stuck at home cause my mum mistook my keys as hers so she took mine and went to work.
Yes, i'm very mad at my mum for doing such stupid act.
Okay, i'm getting all heated up now. My period is coming, so i'm having a lilltle moodswing here.
(Its very bored below, you can stop reading if you want to.)
I did an hour of math and gave up. Damn! Where did my motivation go to?
I've been behaving like that for months..i can't focus on studies cos there's alot of things on my mind.
Few days back i began rememniscing the days i had together with my friends.
Where had Karen, the best advicer of me gone to?
Where had Anthony, the best friend of mine gone to?
Where had Zhijie, the best listener of mine gone to?
It just felt like, i lost too much, and gained too little.
I know, i know. Of course, there are still TC.TOLLYS, SEAFOOD, Ziyang and Jonathan.
You guys are a great bunch of people spending time with me ever since Zhijie and i broke up.
I'll treat you all YUPI GUMMY BURGER as appreciation alright?
My heart gets heavier and heavier, i dont know how much longer i can hold.
Everyone doesn't know how tough it is on me.
My family doesn't communicate with each other in an apporpriate way, my relatives are like monsters, ready to humiliate you if you fail in life and i have to work hard to earn lots of money because i promised dad i'd make him proud.
Sometimes when me and my dad are having
father-and-daughter talk, i just feel like throwing myself into his arms and cry like a baby.
I want to tell him i'm really screwed up, i want to stop working so hard, i'm tired.
But by doing that, my dad would think that he've not done enough as a father to me.
Its totally not true. My dad has done
ALOT for me. He's not only a father, but also a mother and best friend to me.
I hate to admit it, but i've made a wrong decision in life. Yes, indeed i'm regretful.
But at that moment, it was all that i wanted.
(Sorry, only Karen, Anthony and Zhijie know about this cause its really too personal to blog about it.)
I keep telling myself i need to be strong, i cannot breakdown.
I know i can be strong, but i also know i can't be strong forever.
And i'm sure i don't need a boyfriend.
Sometimes i feel like i need someone by my side, but my heart refuses to open up to let anyone in.
Okay, don't really know if its REFUSE or AFRAID lah. It's just not the right time yet.
I just gotten used to single life, its cool.
(I know i damn loser lah, after one month plus of break up i only got used to it now.)
You dont need to consider how your boyfriend would feel and how it would affect him if you're staying out late with guys.
Of course there are advantages and disadvantages. But i guess not having a boyfriend is better for me.
Okay..i've come to an end. Thank you for those who persisted and read through every single word on this entry. I'm feeling a lil' better now.
Shall reward you with pretty photos..tonight. HAHA!
I've not post pictures of me for quite a period of time, so here's a picture to let you see if i've become fatter.
(My bangs have stopped growing. I dont know why.)